Today we are talking with Sally Kuzemchak registered dietitian and author of RealMomNutrition.com about tips for parents of college-bound students. Her son recently started college and she has some great tips for us parents on navigating this journey.

Healthy Family Project Podcast Episode 84

Today we have a great episode lined up! Sally is typically joining us on the show to talk about meal prep and planning and other topics around nutrition, but today, we are getting a different side of Sally. She recently sent her son off to college and of course, having a high schooler myself, I was interested in learning more about her experience. 

Tips For Parents of College-Bound Students Podcast

You know, the real stuff. Not what score you need to be accepted or tips on writing the essays (although, I would love to see an episode on that in the future.) The other things, like drawing lines, pressure, and the journey. 

You will love Sally’s candid advice on what she did well and what she thought she might do differently. 

Tips For Parents of College-Bound Students

Listen to Tips For Parents Of College-Bound Students

What We Cover:

Want to skip straight to a specific topic? See timestamps below. But of course, we recommend listening all the way through to get all the great advice and tips!

  • 2:25 An introduction to Sally Kuzemchak
  • 3:24 Advice for parents whose kids are gearing up for college
  • 5:27 Why it’s important to let the school guide your child as a student
  • 10:23 The pros and cons of submitting common applications
  • 14:26 The reality check Sally got from her son
  • 17:08 The right way and wrong way to do college tours
  • 20:45 How social media influences the college application process
  • 22:08 Signs it’s time for your kid to take a break from social media
  • 26:05 Why it’s crucial to let your kids carve their own path (even when it’s hard)
  • 29:34 Why some kids don’t get excited at the prospect of going to college
  • 30:48 What Sally wishes she did differently when her son was applying and why
  • 34:23 Special dates to be aware of when your child is in the application process
  • 35:02 Why parents need to give themselves some grace during this time
  • 35:37 Tips for supporting your kids emotionally during the application process

About Our Guest, Sally Kuzemchak

Sally is a registered dietitian, author, and mom of two boys. She blogs at RealMomNutrition.com, a “no-judgement zone” for feeding families. She is the author of two books, The 101 Healthiest Foods For Kids, a guidebook to the best whole foods for kids, and Cooking Light Dinnertime Survival Guide, a cookbook for busy families.

An award-winning reporter and writer, Sally serves as a Contributing Editor for Parents magazine and a blogger for WebMD. Her writing has been published in magazines including Prevention, Health, Family Circle, Eating Well, Fitness, and Shape. 

Sally received her master’s degree in dietetics from Ohio State University and resides in Columbus, OH with her family.

You can listen to Sally’s previous episodes! Episode 72 How to Create A No Stress Dinner Plan, Episode 54 Nutrition Label 101, Episode 37 Balancing the Holiday Sugar Rush, Episode 34 Lunchbox Packing Mistakes To Avoid

Other Podcast Episodes to Check Out:

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Transcript for Episode 84

This transcript was produced by Otter.Ai. Please forgive any misspellings and grammatical errors.

Episode 84: Tips For Parents Of College-Bound Students

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Welcome back to the show, Sally. I know we haven’t had a chance to chat in a while on

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the podcast. So for those first time listeners, can you tell everyone a little bit about you?

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Sure. So I’m a registered dietician. I’m a mom of two. I have a ninth grader and a college

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freshman and I blog at Real Mom Nutrition, which is a no judgment zone about feeding

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a family. Wonderful. Well, I’m excited to have you back and I’m especially excited to

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talk to you about this topic today, getting our kids ready for college or I guess like

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the preparation steps. I know you just went through this process. So while it was fresh

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on your mind, I felt like I wanted to have you on. I am kind of in the middle of things

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myself, I guess with a junior starting to really think about what our next steps are

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and am I behind all those good things. So, you know, for parents just starting this process

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with their kids, what advice do you have? So my advice is to not panic and to not assume

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that you are behind, especially if you have a junior or earlier. I do feel like the chatter

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about college starts really early. Yes, very early. A lot earlier than I think it needs

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to be in terms of the stress level for students and their families. So no, if you have a junior,

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you’re totally not behind. I remember thinking the same thing and we were going through it

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sort of in the midst of COVID and a lot of the schools were closed. They weren’t giving

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tours. I was freaking out. My son was trying to take the ACT and it kept getting canceled

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because of COVID and I remember being in tears and thinking this isn’t going to get done.

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He’s not going to go to college. And everything worked out and I know it will work out for

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you too. So absolutely, there’s tons of time left. Don’t worry. Okay, well that makes me

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feel a lot better. I mean, I will say that the chatter does start very early. I don’t

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remember when I was in that age that we started. I mean, my sixth grader came home and said,

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so and so is going to Harvard. And I said, no, they’re not. No one is going right now.

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I’d say when my younger son was in middle school, he would come home and tell me those

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things too. And I think sometimes schools are trying to encourage students for whom

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college may not be on their radar. They may be trying to encourage kids to think about

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college as an option. But for some students, that just creates like a lot of stress and

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anxiety like, gosh, I’m in sixth grade. Should I know what I want to major in already? Like

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it’s ridiculous.

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Yes. It’s hard enough to know what you would like to do with the rest of your life at 18

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to have to think about that, let alone be at that age. So as a parent, how do you strike

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a balance between being helpful in this process and not overbearing or naggy?

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I found it really helpful to let the school guide my student as much as possible because

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your child’s school has resources and people there to help. So between the counselors and

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their humanities teachers, their English teachers, whatever it’s called at your school, they

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can help them with their essays. There are lots of resources at the school as they may

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have a dedicated college type counselor. There are so many things that the school has and

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information and they’ve done this a million times. They know exactly what your student

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needs to do. So I really encouraged my student to, my son to take advantage of those opportunities.

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So for instance, he didn’t necessarily want me reading his essay as much as I really wanted

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to like, so hard. But he loved his English teacher. So I was like, show her your essay.

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She gave him great feedback. Right around the time that those early applications were

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due, the counselors held these sessions in the library, for instance, at lunchtime and

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you could pop in and ask questions. So I encouraged him to go during lunch, which he did. And

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so take advantage of those and don’t feel like as a parent, you’ve got to run this whole

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operation and know everything because there’s so much to know and the people at your child’s

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school are the experts and they will know how to guide your student. And so I think

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really as parents, we’re sort of there for support. Like if the school offers a meeting

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that parents can go to about college, attend that. I did attend like a little seminar on

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a weekend once to kind of learn about the college process. It was helpful, but I don’t

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think it was absolutely necessary. I mean, I think parents can spend a lot of money on

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this process and hiring consultants and whatever and essay tutors. We didn’t do any of that,

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but I did do this little relatively inexpensive seminar. Again, it was helpful, but I probably

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didn’t need to do that. But really, I think that you’re there for support. I think that

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it’s a really complicated process. It is not, depending on what age your listeners are,

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it’s not the same process it was. Definitely when I went to college, it’s online. There

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are multiple platforms that need to be connected and sometimes those platforms change. And

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so I think letting the school help as much as possible and then just being there, especially

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when you’re going to need a lot of emotional support for your student, because it’s a really

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stressful process. Yeah. So I will say like ninth and 10th grade, the past two years with

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my daughter, especially being in like pretty crazy COVID times, I would bring up, oh, do

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you think about this? Do you think about taking this class? This will be good for college.

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And she was very much in the zone of like, don’t talk to me about this right now. I’m

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just, I’m not thinking about that right now. I’m like, okay. I’m not going to bring it

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up. And I would casually slide it in there. But then I just came to the realization that,

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you know what, when she’s ready, and obviously it’s not decision making time, ninth and 10th

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grade anyway, she’ll be ready when she’s ready. And me, you know, like kind of preemptively

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sticking those things in there was probably not doing the best for her, but she is now,

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you know, she’s looking at things. And like you said, the school with resources. And if

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you don’t, you know, I would say just ask your counselors or ask the school because

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they are there. My daughter just sent me today on lunch, a list of colleges that will be

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visiting their school or will be hosting virtual meetings. And so she, it said, you know, she

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sent me a screenshot. It said like click to set up your appointment. So she sent that

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to me, which I thought was really cool because I don’t know. Well, I didn’t have the internet

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in high school. So I definitely didn’t have that. But I thought that was super cool because

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she said, I want to like, go to these websites and then figure out who I want to, you know,

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set up the time to meet with. So I thought, well, that would have been really awesome

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to have that opportunity. I mean, I guess a blessing and a curse, right? Because like

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you said, there’s so many platforms that interconnect and Khan Academy connects to college board

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and it’s like, you know, all this stuff. And then for us was just like, here’s your pencil

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and paper application. Yeah, right. Exactly. I remember handwriting my little essay, you

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know, I know, you know, in some ways it’s easier because with the common application,

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you can submit, you can apply to a lot of schools with kind of a click of a button,

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but it also makes it, I think a little bit overwhelming to, to narrow down. You know,

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you think, wow, well, should I apply to 25 different schools then? You know, it, it does

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add the sort of element of anything as possible. Right. You know what? Someone just told me

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another mom, another dietitian actually, that I was talking to last week and she said she,

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her son had an essay coach, I guess that’s what maybe what they’re called for, for writing

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the essays for college entrance. And the advice they gave him was to, when you have something

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like memorable or something that really like, you know, I don’t know, an activity or an

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event or a sporting event or something that you really had some emotion around or something

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like jot it down or like put it in the notes section of your phone, like, oh, essay idea

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and like jot that down. So I don’t know if that falls in that overbearing suggestion

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zone.

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Well, it’s interesting when you were talking about bringing things up with your daughter

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and being like, you know, this would be good for college or whatever. And I absolutely

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did that. You know, like, I really think you should join honor society. You know, that

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if you get a B in that class. And I really regret that because it definitely came back

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to me from as feedback from my son that he felt very pressured by that. And to me, I

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felt like, gosh, well, I’m not a tiger mom. I’m not at least I’m not like this. But he

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read all of that, especially in these like COVID and post COVID time. I guess it’s not

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post COVID. We’re still in COVID. But sort of the, you know, we’re sort of past sort

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of lockdown, right? A remote school part of it, at least for us. I think it was just too

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much and they are trying to navigate high school and their classes now with this sort

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of like imaginary future that they don’t know what it’s going to look like or feel like.

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It’s really hard for them. It’s so abstract, this concept of like being in school. So that’s

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one of the things that I, one piece of advice is like, don’t worry if your kid just doesn’t

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seem interested or excited about it. Because to me, I felt like my kid was so focused on

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what he was doing, which was senior year was trying to enjoy senior year trying to, you

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know, get through these hard classes, that he just couldn’t even picture it. And so how

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could he be excited about this thing that he didn’t even know what it was going to be

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like, the excitement for him came later, when he had his admitted student tours. So once

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he applied and got admitted, we went back to these schools for what’s called an admitted

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student tour. And that’s kind of a deep dive into, okay, here’s what a class would be like,

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here’s where your dining hall would be, you know, and that’s when he started to get excited.

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But until then, he was just like, look, like, I’m just trying to like, go to school and

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like play my sport, right? And you’re trying to, you know, talk to me about this thing

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that I don’t even, I don’t even know where I’m going to be. I don’t know what it’s going

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to look like. So, you know, I think, in hindsight, of course, he wasn’t excited about college

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and like writing this essay or, you know, filling out these forms or whatever, because

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he’s just a regular kid having a senior year. Yeah, we got to keep that in mind. You know,

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I think that these COVID years have probably changed our perspective on a lot of things

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and not knowing really day to day, you know, how fast things can change and how fast our

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world can change. So yeah, keeping all that in mind. So what was the hardest part of the

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college process as a parent? And then you have to tell us the best part too.

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I think the hardest part is just not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing where

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he was going to be thinking, what’s going to be best for him, you know, and really,

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my son gave me a reality check when he was like, you know, we were going to all of these

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different schools and, you know, you picture your kid at all these different places. And

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my son was like, you know, I think I’m going to be fine at any of these places. Like it’s,

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you know, it’s kind of what I make it and I think I’ll be fine. And I was like, oh my

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gosh, like, just like gave me a reality check. Yeah, like, and I do believe like there’s

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not one perfect school. And so much of the hype and the pressure you feel is like, oh,

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you got to find that perfect match for your kid. And, you know, when, as he said very

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wisely, he’ll be fine at a lot of different places and college is, as you know, what you

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make of it. And you can be happy in a lot of places. And I think there are some really

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good books written about this topic too, that like Julie Lisgott-Hames, like how to raise

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an adult. She’s written a lot about college and I love her message of like, look, you

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know, these elite schools get a lot of attention and buzz and hype, but there are tons and

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tons of other schools that are much easier to get into. And they would absolutely love

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to have your kid there and that they would thrive at. So I think the hardest part is

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like tuning out the noise and just focusing on the reality of the situation and knowing

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your kid is going to do well at multiple places, doesn’t need to get into one of these 25 schools

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to be happy and to do well. So yeah, I think that’s the hardest thing.

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Yeah. Well, and also for listeners out there, you referenced how to raise an adult. Julie

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was actually on the podcast and I wish I knew what episode number it was right now, but

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I don’t, but I will definitely link up to it in the show notes. But she was on the podcast

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not this past summer, the summer previous, and she’s amazing. She really is. I mean,

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her book is great, but then even, you know, to have her on the podcast is just, she just

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like, blew it out of the water. You just are like, okay. Yeah. Makes you feel a lot better.

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And also allows you to maybe just let some stress like weight on your shoulders, just

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kind of push it off a bit. So, okay. Best part.

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Best part of the college process.

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Yes, I need to hear it.

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I mean, I personally found it fun to go on the campus tours. I really did because it

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like made me want to go back to college.

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I was going to, that’s what I’m so excited. We have one scheduled for November and I’m

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like, oh, okay, where are we going to go before? And what are we going to do? And what are we

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going to wear?

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I know it’s just like, I know. Yeah. I know you will feel super embarrassing and awkward

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like in front of your kid at these tours. Cause I’m like always in the front of the

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pack with my hand raised, like with a million questions. My kid is like, oh. So I did enjoy

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the tours and picturing, you know, my kid at these different schools. But I will say

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that I think you can go to too many tours. And what happened with my son is that we went

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on so many tours and really we only met on maybe five or six. That by the last one, like

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he basically wrote off the last school because he was tired of tours.

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Okay.

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That could have been a school that he would have enjoyed and done really well at. But

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by the time we got to that last one and a lot of them, they start feeling the same.

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They usher you into a room and they tell you how great the school is. And then they show

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you the library and the cafeteria and whatever. So by your fifth or sixth one, it’s feeling

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like, okay, I’m kind of done with this. So I got a piece of advice from a friend who

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said instead of like going all over the country and doing all of these tours or all over your

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state or wherever, she said she would recommend, you know, if you can wait until your child,

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you know, gets into some of these schools and then go on the admitted student tour instead

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of running all over the place doing sort of a basic tour, which I thought, you know, I

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think that that’s a pretty neat idea, especially if you don’t have the time or resources or

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whatever to go to all of the different schools your child’s interested in is to wait and

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do those admitted tours, which are a little more meaningful because you’re like, okay,

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I’m in this, I’m accepted to this school. I could go here if I wanted to. What would

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life really be like? And they do, as I said, they do take a little bit deeper of a dive.

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You know, you can attend a class and different things like that. And that really makes it

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feel real. So yeah, so college tours, super fun, but you can’t overdo them, I think.

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Okay, that’s really good advice. Yeah, we have, I figured, you know, our schedule is

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always so hectic with sports and dance and my work travel or whatever we might travel

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or whatever we might be doing. So I felt like if I could spread these out and like maybe

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do this year, just do like one a quarter. And really just things I’m going to focus

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in probably, Florida has a great program called bright futures for, you know, if you go to

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school in the state and then they also, you know, we also have like a prepaid program,

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which is really great for going to school in the state of Florida. So I think we’re

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going to first kind of go and take a look through some of those schools that are at

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the top of the list. And my daughter, fortunately for her seems pretty set on what she would

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like to focus on in college. So that’s helpful, because that really narrows things down for

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us. Yeah, a lot. So it’s really dependent on those, the program, you know, and so for

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her, she’s kind of already and I will say, I know you and I both we go back and forth

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about social media, and it’s pros and cons. And I will say she was showing me two nights

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ago, a girl on different people on tik tok, who were like, I wanted like, I’m a marine

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scientist and like, and I’m at, I don’t even know Hawaii Pacific University. And here’s

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what my day looks like. And like, Hi, I’m at blah, blah, blah, University. And like,

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I’m in the marine science program here. And here’s my internships that are available.

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And it’s like, here’s some that are paid, here’s some that aren’t. And I was like, Oh,

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my word, there’s so much information here. I guess I think like, tik tok is like, you

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know, food trends and dancing. And then she has this whole stream of, you know, people,

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you know, giving her information, which I just thought, well, there, I’ve improved wrong.

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I guess social media isn’t just food trends and dancing. Yeah, I think my son did the

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same thing. And he would follow, he’d follow the schools he was interested in to follow

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their accounts. Right. And they would show like, oh, here we’re having, you know, club

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day or whatever, and you kind of get a little peek. And then he followed some like professors

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for the topic that he was interested in at the different schools. And now that he’s a

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freshman, he follows different accounts of like, okay, here’s how to survive the dining

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hall or here. It’s pretty cool. But I will say, you know, the one piece of advice I’d

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have if you’re if your kid is feeling a lot of pressure and stuff is to make sure they

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do take a break from social media if they’re getting a lot of, you know, posts about people,

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you know, revealing which colleges they went to or posting all the colleges. Yes, I think

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that there can be a lot of pressure that comes from social media in that way. And you don’t

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if you’ve seen those videos of like, kids will film themselves like opening up the email

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the CFA got. I can’t stand those. I just think like, especially for the kids who didn’t get

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into a certain school that yeah, quote unquote, dream school and to see everybody else screaming

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of excitement because they got in I just feel like that can that can do no good. Right.

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You know, maybe taking a break from social media if they’re feeling overwhelmed or feeling

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like everyone has their stuff together. Everybody’s applying to all these schools and visiting

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all these schools and I don’t know what I’m going to do. And so well, I would advise that

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as a parent as well, because I can tell you, you know, it’s just hard social media you

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like are scrolling through and like we talked about when we first started this conversation

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of feeling behind. And that’s when I feel behind. Yeah, I just like being very raw and

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honest here. Like that is when I feel behind is when I log on to Facebook or whatever it

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might be and you scroll and it’s like, Oh, so and so it’s been dual enrolled for since

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like preschool and you’re like, Oh, well,

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I saw someone post there on their child was getting ready to apply. And she showed her

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SAT scores and her grade point average and how proud she was of her student and I thought,

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Oh, my gosh, these, you know, parents out there who are concerned about their child’s

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grade or concerned about the scores are just concerned about just the whole process like

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just how awful that would be to see that and to feel and to compare yourself to compare

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your student and it’s so unfair, you know, it’s so unfair to your child to compare them.

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It really is and I watch out I read not to get too far off track, but I read a post on

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Facebook recently, a parent talking about her son having ADHD and the struggles they

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had faced and how detrimental it social media was to her and not these, you know, whoever

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was posting had no ill intent of posting like, as proud parents, like, here’s my kid, you

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know, with National Honor Society, here’s my child succeeding at this and here’s my

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child succeeding at that success success success success. And so, you know, she was like, well,

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success for us looks so different. Yes. And it really created, you know, a mental health

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issue for her and the, you know, just trying to manage your the special needs of your child

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in that space. So it’s just really hard. So comparing on all fronts for the kids and for

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parents, I would say just take a step away because, like I just said, success looks different

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for everybody. And, you know, especially coming out of what we just came out of these past

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couple years, these kids, like you said, it’s, there was a point where we’re all like, what

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does tomorrow look like? What does next year look like? Will we ever, you know, see each

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other in person again? That’s like, it’s all these things that we face. So we have to give

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each other some grace and definitely take a step away from the social media. If you feel

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like it’s, you know, you feel yourself starting to kind of slip into that, that, you know,

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pattern of comparison and just feeling bad and behind and everything could be bad. And

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I think as parents, we have, or at least I had this vision of what I thought my kid’s

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college experience was going to look like. And our kids are not us, you know, they’re

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their own people.

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Oh yeah, I know.

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Yeah. And so I think that’s really important. Like we were talking before we started recording

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about like, college isn’t for every kid. You know, there are amazing trade programs and

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some kids want to take a gap year. Some kids want to enter the workforce or join the military.

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My son has multiple friends from his graduating class who are at the local community college

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doing really well and, you know, saving a lot of money and then they’re going to have

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to transfer to a, you know, a four year university. And so, and so that is probably different

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than the traditional college experience as well, but it doesn’t mean it’s not a great

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choice for your kids. So I think just, it’s so, it’s so hard and everything that our kids

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do, it’s so hard to be like, okay, they are their own person. They are not a little mean.

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I know. And I, I, it’s so funny. You’re like, I just had the conversation about this as

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well, where I have had to tell myself it’s not your journey. It’s, it’s her journey.

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You know, you’re there to support her journey, but she’s, she’s who she is and you are who

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you are as individuals. And so what’s good for you or what you think you want, you know,

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what she should want is not what she wants. Yeah. Why is that such, it was so hard to

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like digest, but you know, it is for me too. Yeah. Make no mistake. I don’t have this figured

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out either. Yeah. So yeah, we’ll get there. So I think we talked about this a little bit.

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Is it normal for your kid to just not seem very excited about college in general, which

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I, you know, like I said, I was in a little bit of a panic, like what’s happening? Why

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do you not care? This is like what you should want. This is how you should feel. Well, and

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we also have, you have to remember like we know what college for, if you went to college,

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you know what college was like. And I kept saying to my son, like you’re, you know, colleges

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is, it can be a great time. It’s, you know, you, I think you’re going to really like it.

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You get to choose your classes and you get to have a little more free time during the

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day. Yes. They don’t know those things. And so like I said before, it’s hard for them

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to get excited about something that they don’t know about yet. So yeah, I do think it’s very

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normal. And of course you need to figure out if maybe your kid doesn’t want to go to college,

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you know, that is a possibility too, if they’re just not excited about college. So yeah, I

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do think it’s totally normal. Yeah. Well good. I was, I was, you know, in that zone for a

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little while, but I think we’re back on track, but also my daughter, like you had mentioned

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military has talked to, you know, several recruiters that have come by the school and

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you know, there’s some great opportunities there. There’s other programs out there, you

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know, like AmeriCorps and just different ways that you can just take some time to, you know,

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I know everyone’s always, I remember, you know, the panic of parents saying like, well,

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if you take a year, you’re not going to go. Like so worried about that. But I think that

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that journey, you know, you’d rather than be ready for it and then to push them into

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something and then not be ready for it, especially with, you know, what a huge investment it

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is to attend college. So yeah. And I think too, you know, that, that lack of excitement,

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it may be stress and worry too. I mean, I think for my son, there was this element of

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I’m a little bit worried about leaving home and I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave home,

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especially after the lockdown and all of that. I think this idea of like, well, maybe, you

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know, applying to these colleges that might be states away and thinking, do I really want

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to move 300 miles away? What is that going to be like? I think that’s stressful too.

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So it may be, it may seem like your child’s not excited, but it’s just that they’re nervous,

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which I think is totally normal. Yeah. So this question, I think we talked, we kind

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of talked a little bit about this too, but as a parent, how much should you lead the

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process process versus stepping back and letting your child handle things? So I have some sort

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of strong feelings about this one because, you know, as we talked about that book, how

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to raise an adult, you know, and she is a big proponent of, you know, not being a helicopter

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parent and letting, letting your child live their life without, you know, just getting

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in there or micromanaging everything. And so I went into this process like, okay, I

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want, I want my student to sort of, my son to sort of lead this process and be in charge.

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The reality is that it is so complicated and that there are so many different deadlines.

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And as I mentioned before, of course, they are balancing all of this with keeping up

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with their schoolwork and sports and extracurriculars and all that. So I actually wish I had done

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things a little bit differently and been a tad more involved. I wish we had had sort

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of maybe like a calendar posted in the kitchen or in his room with the deadlines. If we had

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been a little bit more collaborative on, okay, what is due this day, what is due that day,

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because it is complicated. And, you know, to just hand this all over to a 16 or 17 year

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old and expect them to manage it when there are, like I said, these multiple platforms,

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different due dates, different deadlines, different forms. And, you know, like the financial

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aid form, that is absolutely going to impact you as the parent. So you need to make sure

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that certain things are in on time. You know, if you are funding some or all of the, all

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of the expense of college. So I think that there’s a way to be involved and be aware

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of the deadlines. My son ended up missing a really important deadline because I wasn’t

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quite as involved as I wished I had been. And so, you know, I think there is a balance

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that you can, you know, achieve without like nagging them about everything, but also being

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aware of what the dates are. You know, like I said, having maybe a calendar or something

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and just, just where you can both see it and know like, okay, in a week, this form is due

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so that it doesn’t, you know, you don’t have like an 11 p.m. the night before a freak out,

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which we had of like, okay, this essay is due that you have to write really quick, right?

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Where the deadline and it’s stressful. And, you know, like when you go to submit it, the

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site might crash because so many, you know, people are on it trying to submit it. So I

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think, you know, I, I, my advice to people is to be, to be a little bit involved, not

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to take over the process. You know, I can be writing their essay for them or, you know,

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writing in all your forms, but just so you are aware of what needs to be done and the

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dates that things need to be in on. Because as we found out, like if you miss a deadline,

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a lot of these schools will be like, sorry. Right. We’ve got, you know, 20,000 other applicants

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and you know. Well, that’s really good advice because I think that I’ve really been trying

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to take a step back with the kids because, you know, as they get older, I definitely

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want them to be able to go out into the world. And when I’m not by their side and be able

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to function. So I’m glad you said that because I was hoping you weren’t going to say completely

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be hands off because that would be hard. Like you said, I think with, especially my oldest,

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you know, like keeping up with the deadlines and the calendars and she has a lot going

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on and you know, it’s, I could see us getting into a little bit of a jam. So I think the

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calendars are really good idea or even just when those key dates come out that, you know,

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plugging those in what and not to like go too far down the rabbit hole, but what are

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you mean like dates as far as like after admission or just dates to like, I guess to apply or

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what are like, there will be, you know, early admission dates for instance. Okay. You know,

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to have those on your calendar, you know, when the ACT is or when, when the, when the

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date is that you can sign up for the ACT because they’ll open up a date. Yes. You know, if

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you don’t sign up pretty quick, it may be full in, you know, you may end up having to

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drive an hour or so. Oh, gotcha. Yes. To a location. You know, just, you know, when essays

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for different scholarships are due, you know, if your child is, is going to apply for an

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honors program or something like that might be a different deadline for, you know, that

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application to be in. So many. So I guess I just feel like if you’re somebody who tries

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not to be a helicopter parent, give yourself some grace in this process. Yes. And recognize

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that it is, it is complex and that it may be too much for your kid, you know, to expect

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them to take on this entire thing by themselves while going to school and being a regular

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kid too. Right. That is really good advice. So it seems like the college process can become

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a little stressful and emotional. How can parents help support their kids emotionally

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during this process? I think, you know, just listening to them, asking how they’re doing,

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you know, trying not to make every conversation about it. Right. I know can be really hard.

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It is when you sit down, you know, to eat dinner, like it’s not going to be like 20

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questions about like, did you do this and what about the school and what do you think?

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Did you make that spreadsheet and blah, blah, blah? And that can be really hard to do, but

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to like, let them just be a 16 or 17 year old as well. And to make sure they feel like

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they can come to you with stresses and worries. And, and like I was talking about to make

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sure that you’re not pressuring them too much and making everything be about college. Like

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shouldn’t you join this club because it would look good on college? Well, right. Enjoy that

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club. Right. Are you trying to get them to pad their resume? That’s a really good point

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that, yeah. And I say this as someone who absolutely did that was like, I know I was

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just going to say I may or may not have just been in a club. I did the same thing. I did

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the same thing. But yeah. And, you know, just, just obviously like, like in Julie’s books,

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like remembering there are lots of schools where you don’t have to have a perfect SAT

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score and be, you know, president of every club at your school to be valued and welcomed

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and succeed there. That’s awesome. Well, I think this is all so great. I know, like I

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said myself, just starting to, you know, dabble into this a little bit into this world. And

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I feel like I jumped in and we’re moving pretty quickly now. So it’s great to hear you having

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gone through it and out on the other side with some of this like real life advice. Because

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I think we get kind of caught up in the, I don’t want to say technical side of it all,

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but we forget about the actual just like process and the emotions and the, you know, just dealing

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day to day. Yeah. Yep. It’s a lot. I mean, it’s, it’s kind of an emotional time and a

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little bit of a stressful time. But I know that you’ll feel the same way I feel when

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you’re on the other end of it too. And you’ll probably have some more advice of just like,

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it’s going to be okay. And so at that time, what that would be two years from now, how

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to do a follow up podcast, like it will be like, I survived and like, yeah, I can give

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everyone the update. That’s all I want to know ever, especially with having teenagers.

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I’m like, so you survived this. Right. Exactly. I might too. Well, thank you so much for joining

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us today and sharing all these great tips and ideas for families. So before we close

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out, if our listeners want to connect with you, where can they find you to connect? My

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site is real mom nutrition.com and you can find me on social media at real mom nutrition.

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Awesome. Thanks so much, Sally. Thanks for having me.